If I could do anything right at this moment, I’d pull on my pajama pants and slip on my shoes. I’d manage to trudge my overweight body up the flight of stairs to our neighbor’s apartment. I would use my sledgehammer to beat their door in. I would use my sledgehammer to smash the living fuck out of the cell phone that they have placed on their floor that keeps vibrating against my ceiling every five minutes. WAKE UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT.